Student Photography Exhibit Disappoints

State College, PA — Attendees to the opening night of “Voyages of Discovery," Penn State's 2008 student photography exhibit, were dismayed and disappointed to discover the show consisted entirely of photographs of old people's hands.

According to a “vision statement” distributed at the opening, participating students were instructed to “process their education and experience and distill their core aesthetic beliefs into photographs that best represented the essence of themselves as students, artists and human beings.”

The finished works, comprising 80 prints from 12 photography majors, varied in size and format. But by sheer coincidence, every single piece prominently featured the wrinkled hands of elderly people.

Paul Newell, chair of PSU’s Department of Art & Architecture, said students were neither encouraged nor mandated to photograph the hands of senior citizens, noting “that’s something each student apparently chose to do on their own.” Newell said the students didn't see each others work until after it was hung, adding, “we probably should have a had a progress meeting at some point.”

Photographer Rebecca Abernathy, a junior from Haddonfield, PA, was livid about the overlap in subject choice. “I can’t believe the others copied me,” Abernathy said, gesturing to her photos of old hands clasped together. “Hands have been my thing all semester. I was doing hands while everyone else was still taking pictures of ducks on Spring House Pond and the fucking chapel at sunset.”

Kevin Morris, a senior from Wallingford, PA, defended his work, eight black-and-white close-ups of the hands of Wesley Hollandale, 72, a fruit and produce farmer from nearby Pine Grove Mills. “Look at those hands,” Morris exclaimed, pointing to a sepia-toned photo of Hollandale’s hands resting atop a weathered wooden fence. “Can you even tell where the hands end and the fence begins? Who else bothered to explore that kind of paradox?” a flabbergasted Morris wondered aloud.

Morris’ irritation was echoed by Curt Jensen, a junior from Allentown, PA. “This is bullshit,” said Jensen, whose work consisted of six color photographs of old hands clutching the bible. “I spent all day at the Greyhound station getting those shots. Do you know how disgusting that place is? I had to throw that brand new bible away when I was done.”

Junior Andy “Pax” Paxton of Princeton, N.J. laughed off the coincidence. “Dude, I knew something was up when I saw Pete, Lauren and Javy at Foxdale Village [Retirement Home] last weekend. 'Community service' my ass."

Although the university doesn’t release attendance numbers for free events, “Voyages of Discovery” is believed to have garnered the lowest turnout in school history, breaking the mark set by last year’s student exhibit, “I Am, I See, I’m Me: Portraits of Consciousness,” which featured nothing but unrelated photos of children's bare feet.